Back in the day (first week of grade 11), I was talking to Mike Ross in art class. Mike told me how he got a drum kit from working all summer. I told mike how I got an injured ankle from skateboarding all summer. I said I wanted to start playing guitar, and asked if he could teach me how. He said no, because I'd just quit in a month. After a few more weeks of constant harrassment, he finaly agreed, but said I had to get my own guitar.

A few weeks later, I was hanging out with my neighbor and we got bored, so we decided to go to a nearby school and watch some girl's volleyball. Due the general un-hotness of the girls playing, this also became boring quite fast, so we wandered the school's hallways untill we saw a guitar case sitting on top of a locker. I told him that that if he ran out with it, I would give him some skate decals. He agreed, then we went home to try that sucker out - and it sounded like shit (damn Fender guitars).

Fast forward two weeks. Mike has agreed to teach me guitar, but I would have have to go in the school talent show with him. We were going to call ourselves "Kill the Jocks", and write songs that made fun of the school hockey team and stuff. We started asking people to play bass for us. The first person we asked was Trent Blanco - bass player of Under Your Absence. He agreed - for a few days then just said "fuck it", and told us to find another one. We started asking random people to play bass for us, and one day we asked Elliot (Smelliot) Tardiff if he played bass. He said no, but he could sing for us. This is about the time that we decided we had to change our name, because for a project in art we had to make a CD booklet for a ficticious band. Mike made the "Kill The Jocks" CD booklet, and after he handed it in, he had to have a few meetings with the school shrink. Our art teacher (who coincidentally was one of the school talent show judges), said that we wouldn't be allowed to perform with that name, so the three of us brainstormed for new band names. Among the suggested ones were "The Crack Dealers", "Osama and the Chemical Warheads", "The Child Pornographers", "The Fuckers", and many others. We figured that "The Untalented" sounded the best and was the least offensive. After this, we began our mission to find a bass player, and we thought that putting signs up around the school would be an easy way to do it. So I grabbed a pen and paper and made a sign that read: "Hey all you no-talent bass players! Wanna play in a no-talent punk rock band? If so, talk to Kev Hyde, Elliot Tardiff, or Mike Freakin' Ross!" Most of the signs were torn down in a few days (lousy jocks, I loathe them...) A few days later, Dick walks up to me in the hall and says "Hey Kev, you guys still lookin' for a bass player?" I said yes, and we made arangements to have a jam session at his place that weekend.

So me and Mike are at Dick's place, and we're thinking of stuff to play. Dick grabs his guitar, and shows me a riff he made up (which eventually became "lick pouch"). By the end of the jam session, we decided to make Dick our second guitarist, and we were back to square one looking for another bass player.

By the time the talent show rolled around, we still didn't have a bass player, so we got James Pflueger (I think that's how you spell it) to come on stage and pretend to play his bass. The hilarious thing is that it fooled most people (one teacher, when asked what he thought of the bass playing in our songs, said "It was pretty good, if I do say so myself") The performance itself sucked huge amounts of balls, though. 20 seconds into "I Hate The Untalented", we blew a circuit breaker, then to make up for the time wasted fixing it, they made us cut one song from our already short set. For some reason, we decided to leave out "The Best Song Ever Written", and we played "I Hate The Untalented", and our rendition of Avril Levine's "Complicated", which we screwed up so badly, it isn't even funny. It probably had something to do with the fact that we had spent a total of 15 minutes reheasing the song the previous day.

About a week later, we played the First Annual School's Out for Summer Rock 'n Roll Bash with The Dice Rollin' Bandits (who, at the time, were known as No Guarantee) and Catsby and Fish (They also had a different name at the time... don't know what). Ironically, we again left out the Best Song Ever Written, screwed up Complicated, and we didn't play all of I Hate The Untalented because I stepped on my guitar cable halfway through the song (wait, that's not ironic at all...)

So after all this, Dick quit, and Mike soon followed. After a brief period of insane line up changes, Dick re-joined the band to play drums and Elliot dropped out of the punk scene and became a fundamentalist then just kind of dissapeared. Several months later,while sitting around outside a show, I told Corey to sing for us and he agreed to do it. Then we were jamming one time and we needed bass, so we told Dicks brother to play, and he's been doing so ever since, and now we have a solid line up for the first time since.... probably ever.